A Sunset

[[Subira].....x]

Mmkay ... so this is actually just to make sure that my RPing style fits all of yours and that I'm doing this right. > >; it's my first time role-playing as a lion, so I need to make sure that her emotions and actions suit what a lion would do. If there's anything I need to correct, feel free to go ahead and tell me; I don't mind. =]

The fiery sun cast an eerie glow on her dark-gold fur, giving it a red-orange sheen. Tonight, her pelt was unusually sleek and glossy – something that she herself admired. Then again, Subira never paid much attention to her own appearance (aside from having good personal hygiene). Almost anything looked fine to her, and so she believed that wasting time on little details was immature and completely unsophisticated. Not to mention it was difficult sitting around another who was constantly adjusting her coat so that the hairs were foliated without being extremely self-conscious. Then again, she was never one to socialize anyways … so it didn’t make much of a difference if you looked at it a certain way.

Swishing her thin tail against the rough sedimentary rock, she swiveled her narrow head to face the horizon and received a shot in the eye from the brilliant rays. Blinking several times, Subira padded slowly towards the edge of Pride Rock, surveying the lands that stretched before her. These lands belonged to the lion king, and it was her duty to protect it like a loyal, faithful servant. Unfortunately, someone as rebellious as her couldn’t stand seeing so much territory without thinking of ruling herself. Ambitious? No. Independent? Perhaps.

The sounds of reeds rustling behind her made her snap her head backwards to face the newcomer – a small, unintelligible cub who had just recently begun to walk. Subira watched the lion kit for a few seconds before bending her head down and grasping her scruff firmly with her front teeth. The youngling wouldn’t feel any pain anyways, and with in a few smooth movements, the lioness poked her head into the crevice and dropped the cub back into safety. The mother, who had been lying nearby, sent her a grateful nod before giving the cub a firm scolding. Of course, Subira ignored it and retreated from the cavern.

Suddenly, the sunset didn’t seem as ethereal. The burning ball of fire had sunk low into the distance, evanescing until there was but a mere sliver of light radiating from the horizon. Closing her gray eyes, the lioness took a few seconds to appreciate the last rays of warmth before they disappeared entirely behind a floor of sand.

[Kirsui]

((OOC: Your style seems very good. The only thing I could point out was that when you're not writing the actual role play, remember to use the OOCs (out of character). ))

[[Subira].....x]

[[ ;3 I normally would do that but seeing as this was practice and that I changed fonts, I just left it. ]]

[Kirsui]

((OOC:

rok said:

The lenght is good but only for first. Its too high quality if you ask me for future posts in the RP.

I don't think it's too long for furute posts in RPs... It depends so much of the situation how long a post can be. I mean... atleast I write posts of a varying length, sometimes longer, sometimes shorter.

*shrug*
only my opinion, though... ))

[[Subira].....x]

[[ Normally I have a tendency to ramble and drag on about nothing.

I admit the lion cub interruption wasn't needed, but I always include some of my character's personality/history in my posts so others can relate to her easier. I also describe the scenery and setting a lot, so Iunno if that's necessary from your point-of-view. o_< ]]