The Misadventures of a Stupid Bird

[abalancedbreakfast]

Talisman's grandfather was perhaps one of the most grandiose and absolutely astonishing bullcrap forgers that he had ever seen. Every day, Talisman remembered how his grandpa would sit on the edge of his nest with his other old, crap-talking friends and make up the most ludicrous lies anyone had ever heard. How they had flown around the world, how they'd taken down a full grown eagle in air to air combat, or maybe even how they were some kind of royalty at some point. Oh well, Talisman supposed. Drongoes were known for spewing falseness out of their mouth in one form or another.

But there was one particular story that Talisman had wished he hadn't assumed false so fast. His old grandpa was the biggest liar he'd ever seen, but at least one story was at least plausible now. Grandpa had always said he had flown 100 miles off course in a thunderstorm and broke his wing on a tree, having to fly on a broken wing all the way home.

Turns out you really could crash hundreds of miles away from home after flying into a thunderstorm. Flying on a broken wing, not so much.

Okay, so maybe that was a bit obvious, but when he'd heard the story growing up, he'd always assumed you could always just fly down and avoid getting swept too far.

Well, when his boss, Marat, needed some overwatch done in a monsoon storm... things hadn't gone to plan, necessarily. Yes, he did have to do some flying, and yes, he did fly up in the clouds to avoid being spotted. But, he always just assumed he could fly back down when he reached his destination. 

Turns out that's kind of hard to do when you don't know where exactly "down" is.

And now he was paying the price for this act of incredible stupidity by bursting out of the clouds at top speed, crashing dead into a tree, and falling about fifty feet to land in the jungle below. Certainly not his most masterful work.

But something was off. He... wasn't exactly in a jungle when he took off. He was in a Savannah.

"Ach... damn.... Grandpa, if you hadn't have spoken so much absolute garbage, I might have believed you!" He swore to himself, acting as if doing the one thing you shouldn't do somehow wasn't his fault.

"Uhmm... god... Anyone here?" He shouted out, trying to brush off his injured left wing as if it was nothing. "I, uh... promise I'm not gonna eat ya. If you don't eat me..."

No response at the moment.

"Honestly, I ain't worth eating. Heh, I know the ladies think I'm so strong and handsome. Really, there's not enough muscle under these feathers to warrant going through all the gristle and bones."

Still nothing.

The bird sighed and shuffled around a bit, trying to get his wing into a more comfortable position as he laid against the trunk of the tree which so graciously interrupted his flight.

"If I told you I was worth eating, would you at least come take a look at me?"

Nothing.

"I'm beautiful, I promise!"

[cheezeegriff]

Nyoka's ears would have pricked if she'd had any ears. Perhaps she would have opened her eyes if they had been closed. Instead the only sign that she'd woken was her large forked tongue waving in the breeze.

A voice came from below her. One that woke primal urges in her long, scaly body. The need to eat. She slowly uncurled from her branch and began descending, leaving most of herself coiled over upper branches so as to spring forward if she needed to. She arrived within striking distance just as the little bird finished his little speech. She said in a gentle reply:

"Oh, you are sweet little thing, aren't you?"

[abalancedbreakfast]

Talisman looked above him at the snake who looked obviously intent on eating him. Thankfully he could still walk, so he sprung up from the root of the tree and started walking away as fast as possible. "Okay, see, that's not gonna work, I think I'd rather just find my way on my own, bye!" He said before running into another tree. "OW! Ach... Oh no." He said, noticing he was cornered. "Hey, look, see these perfect feathers? You're not going to ruin such beautiful craftsmanship just for a meal, are you?"

[cheezeegriff]

"I suppose I'm not THAT hungry," Nyoka said, settling down in the mud before the little bird, tasting him through the air with her wagging tongue. The recent rains had cleared the air of all scent but him. It was difficult not to strike. "Two trees in a stone's throw. You manage to crash into one and walk into another. If only more birds were as clumsy as you."
"So, where are you from, pretty little thing?" she said, gathering her coils into a comfortable position. "And where are you going? Please, tell me all there is to know."
She was careful not to get too close, lest she startle the pretty little thing.

[abalancedbreakfast]

Talisman hopped up, circling the snake slowly, just waiting to dodge a strike. "Oh, well, Uhm, funny you should ask. My friend and I were actually, uh, helping out a pride in a desert about 100 miles north of here, to... kind of depose an authoritarian dictator. But, uh, while I was looking out for him in the sky, I kind of got lost... and ended up here."

He paused, getting talons ready.

"So just know that if you decided to eat me, you'd be condemning a lot of cubs to a life of dictatorship."

[cheezeegriff]

"How horrible," Nyoka said. "Tell me: which dictator? There are many dictators. Not so many in the jungle though." She flicked out her tongue. "Sometimes, information can be just as compelling as a good meal... provided the information is good. What story do you have to tell, pretty thing?"