A rendezvous of Rogues - all welcome

[cheezeegriff]

Figgy lay on his back in a food coma, paws curled over, tail twitching, tongue lolling out of his mouth. The midday sun beat down on his enormous cream-brown belly, warming him delightfully, making him sigh in contentedness. "Thhis is the life," he said lazily. "If only thhey could see me now. Figgy. Hunter eggstrordinaire."
YOU'RE NOT BEING ENTIRELY HONEST WITH YOURSELF, said a disembodied voice.
Figgy knew the voice spoke truth. It always had. Truth be told he had eaten way too much. His stomach was so full it hurt to move. A lifetime of such overindulgence had left him with a belly so big another lion might mistake it for a water bed. His chubby forelegs were ringed in fat and all that could be seen of his hind legs were his toes wiggling out from under his enormous paunch. His face was big too, and from his upside down position, his cheeks almost rolled over his eyes. The voice was right, but he hated the way it intruded on his happy moments. He frowned at the sun, wrinkling his big nose. “But there are animals starving out there. Surely I am the embodiment of predatorial success! No animal stands a chance against me. What can I not catch, should I want to catch it?”
PERHAPS A GIRLFRIEND?
“That’s not fair. And anyway, when they see how well I provide for myself, how can they not see how well I will provide for them?” He lifted his head, pushing aside the many fat rolls under his mane with several chins and observing the grassy glade around him. It was littered with bones. Zebra bones. Antellope bones, bones of a buffalo and even an elephant – it had taken him a while to finish off the elephant. But the effort of keeping his head up was too much, and he let it sink back down. “They’d be living in paradise, living with me.”
PERHAPS THEY WANT SOMEONE WHO CAN PROTECT THEM, TOO.
“From what? This is the perfect place to raise a litter. I haven’t seen another carnivore for months! What could I possibly need to protect them from, hmm?”

[coolcoyote]

Perhaps from jackals, like the one scampering his way through the area.

Vrasku was a jackal caught between youth and adulthood and like the lion he leaned toward the fleshy side but to no where the same degree of glut and sloth that affected the larger beast.

Despite his plump appearence Vrasku has to pause, quieting the growls of his stomach with a free paw. Truth be told he was a good degree slimmer than when he started out on this journey. In short the time he should have spent looking for food was cut in half, making room to find ways to pay off his debts. Most were easy, paying off a few scraps of meat to one beast, leading preditors to herds of antelope for others.

Some however were much more...ludicrus. Like the hyenas who tasked him with finding a...

The jackal pauses again to look up at, a Lion? Sitting back on his haunches the jackal simply stares at the bloated creature at the bottom of the hill. Somewhere under all that flab is lion he concludes.

The normal reaction for Vrasku is to leave sleeping lions lay but he just can't help himself. The sight of the horribly obese creature is just too...out of place.

Out of mostly curriosity the jackal begins to trot closer to the lion. Close enough to be seen but not easily catched Vrasku sits down on his haunches, head tilted to one side and simply stares at the lion for a long uncomfortable moment.

[cheezeegriff]

When the voice didn't answer straight away, Figgy knew he was in trouble. The voice liked irony - or aptness, if that was even a word - and leading him to ask what could hurt him right before something did was just like him. So Figgy cracked open an eye. At first he didn't see it, but then a light brown coat resolved itself from the surrounding light brown grass, and he found himself staring eye-to-eye with a young, not so lean jackal.
Now, he knew a jackal couldn't really hurt him. Well, wouldn't probably be silly enough to try. But he also knew he was all alone and he knew the voice liked to lead him to ironic situations. It was all too much for his food addled brain. He did what any lion would do. His green eyes widened with terror and he screamed: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHGH..." By the end of the scream his eyes were closed, and his little legs were kicking beneath his huge waterbed of a stomach, making it ripple and heave like it had come alive in its own right.

[coolcoyote]

Vrasku reacts about as one might imagine to this display, that is he recoils like the coward he is against the lions appearent war cry. He leaps behind the tall grass behind him; gold eyes peering out as they await the lion give chase.

A chase that never comes.

Vrasku stands up slightly, that fat flabby fool of a lion is too heavy to move! And afraid of him, a little jackal... It takes a moment for this to process in vrasku's mind.

Lion. Fearfull. And utterly helpless.

Perfect, thinks the jackal with a sly smile. "Good day sir!" the jackal trots out of the grass, taking a heroic pose. "Forgive me for staring, I was just waiting for the magical portal of food to appear over you. I do assume that is, heh heh..." the jackal reaches out a paw to still the lions warbling gut, "Became so well fed. I do admit I am currious as to how you came across such feasting, but I suppose it doesn't matter in the end..."

He gives the lion a sad, 'knowing' look, as a doctor gives their patient before telling them horrible news.

[cheezeegriff]

Figgy recovered from his fright, and endured the jackal's patronising tone with barely-concealed contempt. He tried swatting the little nymph's paw away, but of course that particular part of his stomach was out of reach of his paws anyway, and all it did was set the whole thing in motion again. He emitted a low growl from his throat - one thing Figgy could do was growl really well - but then stopped when the little devil asked how he had managed to feed himself so well.

"Magic portal? Hah!" he said. With effort he rocked back and forth until he could reach across his massive chest with one thick forearm and grip the grass with his claws to pull himself onto his side. Of course his enormous stomach took its sweet time, but eventually shifted to puddle in front of him. At least now he could raise his head. "I'll have you know I hunt - I'm a lion, after all - but I have something other lions don't-" he tapped his skull with his free paw- "Brains! Pleased to meet you, by the way," he said, now offering the aforementioned paw. "I'm Figgy. Inventor and adventurer, at your service."

[coolcoyote]

The jackal takes a step back. "Vrasku, Jackal and all that entails." What will it be this time, thought Vrasku, what ploy would he use? Was a ploy even needed? The lion was proving to be a curriosity for the jackal at the moment. After all it wasnt everday one met a lion friendly enough to make small talk with creatures that could be its next small meal.

"A hunter?" Vrasku crosses his fore paws, "Now this I have got to see! Come on you can be honest with me, where is the rest of your pack...your pride. They must either be mighty warriors indeed or number in tge hundreds to keep you this well fed."

The jackal peers about the svanana looking for this fabled pack of excellent hunters.

[cheezeegriff]

"Nope. I keep myself well fed," Figgy said, raising his double chins proudly. "I hunt by myself, and I know I should be more modest but I think I'm very good." He grinned toothily, green eyes flashing. "Next time I go hunt, I'll show you. But it won't be for a little while. I just ate, after all." He patted his enormous stomach like he might a mate that was lying beside him, then shifted uncomfortably. "Anyway, you seem to do quite well for yourself. No offense." He glanced down at Vrasku's generous paunch. "What's your secret? Do you have a partner? You jackals usual work in pairs, right?"

[coolcoyote]

The jackal idly rubs at his swollen but empty gut. "Well I do try. And occasionally I do take on an apprentice but...heh...there are more rewards to reap if there are fewer to share them with, know what I'm saying?"

Vrasku stands proudly, a smug look upon his muzzle, "And like you said, brains win out over brawn. I get most of my meals as...payment," he begins to trot once around the bloated lion as he talks, "I run errends for people. Sometimes I carry messages, sometimes I keep an eye on beasts for others. It varries of course but most preditors simply use me to spot prey for them. Sometimes I even lead prey into traps. The preditors kill them...and then share what is left."

The jackal makes a full circle around the lion before he concludes, "Perhaps I could help you. Just think, by the time you finish digesting, food will be ready to meet your waiting maw. You will be spared the horror of going hungry between catches!" the jackal says, with a smile.

Yes, this will work PERFECTLY....

[cheezeegriff]

"Hrrrrmmmm..." Figgy said, thoughtfully. Instantly, he knew it was a bad idea. He was big enough already and having an excuse to lie about constantly wouldn't help in that regard. So he narrowed his eyes. "And what do you want from all of this, hmm?"

[coolcoyote]

With boisterous laughter the Jackal wraps an arm around the lion's head...or at least tries to. "Can't a jackal just be doing a...good deed?" he glances at his own free paw as he rubs dirt from between his claws, "Thirds." he says flatly, "I bring the beasts back to you, you kill them. And you give me a third of each animal. After all, we wouldn't want to spoil your diet /too/ much do we?"

Vrasku gives the lion a pat on his pudgy neck.

[cheezeegriff]

Figgy raised his brows. "A third? For a little creature like you? Ha. What are you going to do with it all? And how is a jackal going to drag me back an antelope, or a zebra? Do you have super-strength or something?
"No: I'll show you what you'll do tonight. You can definitely help me and I'll give you more than you can ever eat. But let's not get ahead of ourselves. Let's see just HOW much you can eat, shall we? I'll show you what I want from you and you can accept or reject then. No deal... yet.
"Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some sleeping and digesting to do," Figgy said, and let his head flop down on one very chubby shoulder.

[coolcoyote]

The jackal cringes while keeping up a false smile. Forths...he should have gone for forths, stupid greedy gullet.

"But...but...but..." Vrasku whimpers, "Im hungry /now/." Rolling his eyes the mercenary jackal takes flight, "Fine Ill go find something to keep me entertained while you waste the rest of the day. I will be back at night fall!"

Inwardly the Jackal is beaming with joy. He couldn't believe his luck! Finally he could pay off his debt!

Visiki was going to be pleased...

[cheezeegriff]

Figgy finally roused at evening, blinking blearily at the sunless sky. He waited until the jackal returned before saying, "Right. Are you ready to learn the trade of a Master Hunter?" He grinned, partially taking the mickey out of himself. Carefully he shuffled his back legs so his belly was right beneath him, and heaved with his back legs... but then flopped back down again. He shuffled his forepaws and then heaved again, and this time his back legs straightened. They were so fat his upper legs nearly completely engulfed his lower, down to the upper part of his ankles. When he heaved with his forelegs his belly was finally free of the ground, but not of the grass. "Right," he said. "Follow me!" Then he shuffled off over the savannah, back legs pressing into his stomach with every step, whose folds and bulges rippled and opened and closed like the ribs of a blubbery accordion. He breathed heavily too, panting despite the lack of heat, walking with a stately pace that displayed his rippling enormity.

It wasn't long before they came to a tree, a rope tied around its branch. "So here's the deal, coyote. I hunt with traps. Traps like this," he said, pointing to the rope which was pinned to the earth. "An animal steps into the circle and WHAM! The trap springs and catches its leg. All I do is set the traps, and check them!
"However, I am travelling north, slowly. There's a pride there I'm planning to meet. But I don't want to leave my traps behind. So: here's the deal: You check my traps. If there's food in them, come and tell me! I'll get it down and share the carcasse with you. A little jackal like you can have as much as he wants." Then he grew thoughtful. "But only of big kills. If there's anything smaller than you in my traps, you can have it all. How's that sound?
"But if the trap is empty, I want you to dismantle it and bring the ropes to me. I'll be setting them up further and further north. So that I get to where I'm going, eventually.
Does that sound like an even trade?" He smiled.

[coolcoyote]

When vrasku returned he was already out of breath. It was after all a ling run to Bushtail den...

________

"You really want to send a message to Visiki?" the small swift fox raises an eye brow to the tired form of Vrasku.

"Yeah sure, why not?"

"Because he is going to kill you."

"Well yeah there is that but..."

"No I mean like...realy kill you. In horrible grizzly ways, Gut spilling eaten alive sliwly ways."

"Bushtail..."

"And then laugh about it...as he eats you..."

"Bushtail." the jackal grabs the fox buy the head. "Jusr tell Visiki that I found him a lion..."

__________

"Ah...so check traps eat my fill bring you back the rest. I think I can handle that. Just point me in the right direction." the jackal grins, tail wagging at the prospect of so many meals....and so little over site...

[cheezeegriff]

"If you CAN bring me back the rest. Most of the things my traps will catch will be larger beasts. If you find something too big, just come and tell me. We'll eat it together!" Figgy said, then winced as his stomach growled. "Anyway, let's go take a look."
They wandered around to another two traps, which were empty, so Figgy showed Vrasku how to collect the rope without getting caught in the traps himself. Their third trap, however, had a live and kicking wilderbeast in it.
Without a second thought Figgy darted forward, throwing his weight on the wilderbeast's neck - he could move fast when he was hungry. The beast was snagged by one of its rear legs so Figgy's job was easy, mostly. He clamped his jaws around the animal's wind pipe and held on until its breathing slowed, became raspy, and finally, the whites of its eyes vanished beneath closing eyelids.
Figgy waited a few minutes more, then stepped back with a sigh, looking at the limp wilderbeast. Between breaths he mouthed a silent prayer, then said aloud, "I hate that part." Though very soon he was grinning at Vrasku. "Anyway, you hungry?"

[coolcoyote]

The next few minutes of Vrasku's life are a blurry haze as be charges full long into his meal with glee. He wastes no time with petty things like thanking the beast for its sacrifice, he just eats and he eats /well/.

Proving himself quite the glutton he eats until he is full and then some, and then some more and some more until he finds himself laying on his side, belly too bloated with his meal.

His chest rises and falls with each labored breath. "That...that was a fine start." he says with a almost drunken smile. The jackal rolls onto his back, feet sticking into the air. There isn't much the jackal can do but talk so he talks.

"Genius my friend. You are a genius. A blubbery well fed genius. Where did you come up with the idea of such a contraption?" the jackal looks at the lion upside down, "Does all of your pride use traps like this?"

The not so little anymore jackal wags his tail at the thought of how much meat they could haul in, or rather how much meat the Jackal could eat if they did!

[cheezeegriff]

Figgy also ate, though it took longer than a few minutes. He was still eating when Vrasku had, apparently, finished, and around a mouthful of offal he said, "No pwide... yet. Got kicked owt for being lafy." He swallowed. As always it felt good to eat again. "But I will! Very soon, actually. Just need to move a little further north.
"As for how I got the idea... I saw a warthog trapped under a root of a tree, once. Caught by its fat middle, with its back legs sticking out. So I thought, what if I could MAKE them trapped? I just weaved grass or vines or whatever and played around until I found something that worked. I can teach you, if you want... I don't know why more people don't take me up on that..." He took another bite and pushed down on the carcass with his forelegs, tearing away a strip of meat. "Fo... will you take me up on dif offer?"

[coolcoyote]

Staring at the lion upside down Vrasku gets a smile out of his tale. It only took one look to see why they kicked him out. One had to have a certain dillagence to be that lazy. And given how most of their meal was already gone Vras could only imagine how he ate them out of house and home.

The story was simular to Vrasku as well. Gluttony and sloth however were only two of the jackals problems...

At the lions offer however Vras rolls onto his bloated belly, ears shot strait up. "W-what?" he winces, regretting moving so quickly. "Heh heh, you don't have to go through s-such trouble with me! Although it is a temping offer."

The jackal gives Figgy a smug grin. "I bet no one takes you up on it because it works TOO well. Some beasts are actually concerned about being slim mate. Remember, a life of hakunamata is all fun and games till your swim ware doesn't fit."

The smile fades over the course of a long pause. "All that food will get you killed...one way or another. J-just some advice from one creature of the feast to another."

[cheezeegriff]

"I'll let you think about it then," Figgy said with a grin, then buried his muzzle in the carcass' interior. He didn't pull out again until he was too full to move, and the carcass was nothing but skin and bones.

[coolcoyote]

"I'll keep that in mind. Thank you for the offer though. I think I'll turn in for the night..." the jackal yawns, resting his head on his paws. It seems the lion did not heed his warning. Just as well Vrasku thought.

No beast should die on an empty stomach...

-------

It was time to face the truth, Vrasku thought with a sigh. Staring into the reflection of the pond he leans back on his haunches, gripping the bottom of his belly and lifting it upward as he puffs out his chest.

For a brief moment Vrasku looks barrel chested. Until he can not hold his breath anymore. His gut sags and bounces as it falls against his lap.

The jackal whines again. He could no longer deny being fat. It was to be expected, given the nature of this trip, but even he wasn't prepaired for the bounty of the food on this trip. Two gazel and a myriad of small creatures to dine on.

Normally a few days would pass between meals, but over the last week the jackal has dined more than a few times each day! And it was starting to show.

His flank was growing marbled with flesh. He could no longer feel the ribs of his chest, not with out painfully prodding for them. And his neck was getting thicker. Vrasku's belly by far brunt the worst of it. His body, having nowhere else to put the excess calories his stomach swells out ward.

The jackal would have rather not faced Visiki like this. Not as a tempting juicy little snack. In fact knowlage that Visiki was coming made it hard for Vrasku to breath. Fear of grizzly demise aside, the jackal was starting to actually enjoy the company of this lion. Quite honestly Figgy was the first lion that didnt either try to maul him, eat him, or bore him to death with arrogant boasting he had ever met. And knowing that Visiki was going to tear him into literal shreds made Vrasku ill when he thought about it.

Not ill enough to warn Figvy of course. Ultimately Vrasku prizes survival over friendship.

[cheezeegriff]

"Hey Vras, where are those ropes?" Figgy called out. He sat in the long grass, weaving what looked like a blanket out of hay. Over the last two days they'd moved further north a little, with Vrasku helping by going back for ropes and Figgy looping them over branches and under roots or around stones to give them the most power whenever they snagged prey. But the trees were a little further apart here, becoming more like the typical Savannah, though it might still be considered a sparse forest. Still plenty of shade in which to hide. But Figgy weaved the blanket just in case.
Vrasku hadn't made an appearance in a little while, and his stomach was growling. He raised his head to look around, but didn't bother standing. "Vrasku? You ok little budd?"

[coolcoyote]

As if awakened from a trance the jackal twists around, "Huh? Oh!" the jackal trots back to the lion, depositing the ropes woth some struggle as close as he can to Figgy sparing him the effort (and embarassment) of moving his bulk to reach themm

"Sorry I was just paaaing by the watering hole and stopped to examine the damage." Vrasku sits, scratching at an ear with his hind paw, "How long have you been at this? You know, so I can have a clear idea when I will be insulated enough to survive the arctic tundra." Vrasku smiles but every time he looks at Figgy he imagines himself there, bones coated in an endless sea of flesh.

The lion may be resigned to a life of blubbery but for one lower on the food chain such a fate would certainly prove fatal.

[cheezeegriff]

"Thanks," Figgy said. Chubby paws deftly tied a rock to one end, and he took a length of rope in his paws, like a lasso, before squatting on his hind legs. His enormous stomach almost completely concealed his lower limbs and sat comfortably on the ground. With ease he threw it over a supple tree branch directly overhead, then grabbed it with both paws, using the vine to pull the branch closer to the ground. Through gritted teeth he said, "I've been.. Hunting this way... Couple years now," Figgy said, still pulling the rope. He cringed a little at the arctic tundra comment, but kept pulling until he could snag the looped end of the rope under a hook he'd made out of the tree's roots. Then he let go with a sigh and a lot of heavy breathing. "And I was... Pretty heavy... To start with," he managed, massive chest heaving get over a more massive stomach, the two swapping substantial volume with each breath. "But I got heavier much faster at first. Then it slowed down. I even lost it all at one stage..." He looked down and patted his enormous stomach with a wry grin. "But alas, it grew back.
"Anyways thank you. I think I've doubled my speed these last two days. We must be... Six miles north of where we met? Very good progress. You're definitely worth your weight in meat," he gave Vrasku a playful shove, then settled down to weave.

[coolcoyote]

With a yelp Vrasku steadies himself after the lion shoves him. "You bet your tail I'm worth my weight in meat. I'm Vrasku acter all, jackal extrodinare!" he says, mocking Figgy's way of introducing himself. Inwardly Vrasku's more parinoid self tends to kick in any time he is associated with 'meat' though.

The lion could just be letting him tag along to feed him up, letting the jackal grow imobile with flesh before devouring him.

Shaking his head Vrasku perishes the thought. Figgy was many things but capable of crulty didnt seem to be one of them...right?

"If I'm usefull maybe I should start asking for a raise in wages." Vras says with a laugh. He lays down, "Where ARE we going anyway? And how long until we get there?"

[cheezeegriff]

"Raise in wages? You already eat as much as you want. Unless you can get a second stomach installed I don't think you can handle it," Figgy said. The next question made him look up, however. His grin was positively mischievous. "... So glad you asked. I got a message via a hornbill caller A month ago. There's aparrently a pride of lions to the north of here. I don't know if you've heard of Princess Mrembi? She's the seventh in line for the throne. All her older brothers and sisters are married. So her father issued a decree that Mrembi's paw in marriage would be given to the best hunter in the land. He's running some kind of tournament beginning in the summer solstice. Only a few months away. So I thought I would check it out. I mean, if it's a hunter they want she'll swoon just at the sight of me, don't you think?" He patted his huge stomach mock-seductively.

[coolcoyote]

The jackal snerks, clutching his snout with both paws to keep himself from laughing. It still comes though first in the form of giggles, then a chuckle, then all out laughter.

Vrasku rolls onto his back, clutching his sides as he cackles. This continues for a nother long moment until he sits up, one paw supporting him from behind the other siping a tear from his eye.

"Wait, your serious?"

[cheezeegriff]

"Yes, I'm serious," Figgy said. He had put his weaving aside and was watching the jackal laugh himself silly. "Do I tthink i'll win? No. When I turn up they'll probably add a clause to the tournament, like, 'must be able to touch his own toes.' But seriously. Have you met a more successful hunter?"

[coolcoyote]

The jackal continues to chuckle as he stands up. "Can't deny you there buddy. But if you have to to the lengths of winning a girlfriend crom a contest then no ammount of hunting skills will save you." he pats the lion on the shoulder as he walks past.

"If nothing else I'm sure the pride would hire you to cater for the wedding. Just think, everything you want and no responsibilities!" the jackal pauses for a second before he heads out to check more traps.

"Hey Figgy...you...you don't think a pride of lions would have any use f-for a jackal like me? Do you?"

[cheezeegriff]

"Pheh," Figgy said, at the girlfriend comment, and went back to weaving. When Vrasku asked about the pride needing a jackal, he said, "I don't know if prides use jackals. I've never been in one. But I need a jackal like you." He looked up and smiled. "I've moved twice as fast with you helping dismantle traps. You save me a ton of walking about checking them too. And you're good company to boot. And you eat like next to nothing... at least compared to me, anyway. Heh. So don't worry. When we get there I'll vouch for you."
Figgy looked thoughtful for a moment, then added, "And hey. I had a mate once, just so you know. Little leopard thing." Snow leopard, actually, but he wasn't about to admit that. "We got separated when a friend of ours was involved in a kidnapping. I looked for her for years but... comes a time when you need to move on, you know?"

[coolcoyote]

Vrasku pauses. Then in a rare act of kindness the jackal places a paw on the lions shoulder. He has to stand on his hind paws to do it. "I understand. And don't worry, I am not going anywhere. After all I need to get you married off so YOU can get ME into a lions pride." Vrasku slaps Figgy's arm and then seems to dance about on his hind paw, eyes becoming cillex with dreams of eazy living.

"Just imagine me az the offical pride Jackal. All the food I can eat and never again would I have to worry about preditors!" Vrasku goes back to all fours. "And I'm glad to help you with your traps. Your the friendliest lion I ever did meet."

And then Vrasku trotted away to throw up somewhere out of site. Stupid, greedy jackal he said to himself as he left to check more traps, he chose the wrong lion...