The Things We Live For

[Lyonize]

...................."Useless"

........................................................................"Worthless"

................................."Waste of a mane"

..........."Pathetic"

......................................................."Embarrassment"


Infertile...


Sharp words pierced his mind and his heart. No physical assault compared with the devastation caused by these words. Even through time, each verbal blow was crippling. Days had passed and the affront set upon him by the others rang in his thoughts, clear as the starlit night sky. The very pride he once protected had labeled him an enemy. He was an outcast. His unforgivable, unspeakable, damnable crime: He could not provide the pride with cubs. As long as he ruled, the pride had no future. So they threw him out.

Zoba sat motionless atop a hill overlooking the savanna. For days, he had traveled aimlessly through dry, barren places. It felt like a path through his very being. Lifeless. Tonight was the first he encountered any sort of life sustaining enclave. It was a contrast to the travel that led him there. His fur reflected the dry wasteland's he had just come from, covered in dust except for the streaks below his eyes. No more tears came. He had no more tears to cry out. No words to say. Nobody to say them to. Trapped in his mind with the words that slowly killed him.

The deserts had denied him death. To die would relieve him of the words that tortured his soul. With tired eyes, he looked down at the mushrooms he held in his paw. "Death cap" they called them. He thought it suitable to think of the ones he cared about before he died but try as he might, not a single soul came to mind. How do you love someone when no one loves you? He began to think of the cubs he never had. The cubs he would never have. What would their names have been? Who could their mother have been? He closed his eyes. The imaginary lioness wisped ethereally two and fro in Zobas thoughts.

[Ruby_Fehu]

Why did she have to be a female when those rogues attacked. She would give anything to try and hide or flee better than last time, she knew she'd never be fast enough though. And now because the cheetah in her had failed her, she was left with a responsibility which she despised.


Ruby looked down at the cub, stumbling along beside her. She couldn't help but roll her eyes and sigh heavily when the child fell again; it didn't stop her however and Ruby grabbed the cub by her scruff and helped her stand again. "Thank you mama." The tiny creature chimed and Ruby just nodded in acknowledgment and have a slight smile, one that didn't quite meet her eyes, but Iris was too young to notice.


Ruby glanced to Iris and saw she was staggering more than normal and it didn't take her long to realise that the cub was getting tired. The older hybrid heaved a weary sigh and scanned the area, it was completely barren much ringer dismay; how she'd got here of places, she wasn't sure but as it was, she had no way to turn back. It was too dangerous for the duo.
A little further up Ruby noticed a towering enclave and in a split second decision she picked Iris up by the scruff and started towards it.


It didn't take her long to reach the top of the enclave and when she did she placed Iris down again and made her way to the edge. She would have been more than happy to carry on walking but unfortunately she had new priorities. Ruby didn't notice the figure beside her until she almost stepped onto his tail and she realised in surprise that a fully grown male was also occupying the enclave. As if it was second nature - and for Ruby it had been as of late. She abruptly stepped back and stood over Iris who lay between her paws, staring at the lion before them.


Although Iris knew that Ruby was trying to protect her, her inquisitive nature kicked in and the small cub teetered over to the lion. She sat in front of his face and stared up at him with fascination before her curious expression turned into a wide grin. "Hi, hi." Iris squeaked eagerly before Ruby could stop her.

[Lyonize]

With the deserts behind him and green meadows before him, Zobas thoughts drifted behind his closed eyes. Focused only inwardly on the figures that danced in his head distracted him from all else that happened around him.

"Hi, hi."

Was his mind playing tricks on him? Or had he actually heard that? Zoba opened his eyes and looked past his paw, still holding the mushrooms. A small, scruffy, cub stood before his towering form. There, Zoba sat staring at the cub. For a moment, he couldn't seem to push any words out.

"Hi..." He said, still not sure what else to say. Finally, his wits returned and he wondered if the cub was alone. The large lion looked back at the white mushroom caps in his paw, then placed them on the ground under his paw. He stood up, crushing the mushrooms into the dirt inconspicuously. Zoba lifted his head and looked around. Over his shoulder, he saw a lioness. She looked just as travel weary as he did. More than that, she looked exactly like the cub.

"Is she yours?" The question was almost nothing more than a formality. Unless the two were sisters, the cub had to belong to this lioness. The likeness was uncanny.

[Ruby_Fehu]

Ruby placed her paw over her muzzle in an exasperated action at Iris going up to the large lion, did she not care that he could kill her with one swipe. Of course not, she's a child. Ruby thought. She was slightly relieved, however that the male hadn't harmed her, or maybe he was just biding his time, you never could tell with males. As far as she was concerned they were all the same. Ruby watched curiously as the lion did an unusual motion with his paws but decided not to question it and just shrug it off.


Ruby was slightly taken aback when the male turned and addressed her. She stared at him carefully for a moment, trying to decide whether or not to answer him or not. Eventually she dipped her head in a slight not, "Erm, yeah she's my - my uh daughter." Ruby informed him, the word 'daughter' felt foreign and bitter on her tongue and she had the urge to add on 'unfortunately' but decided better of it, she did love Iris after all, even if it wasn't as much as a mother should. "I'm sorry that she's bothered you, I didn't see anyone here. I was just about to see if I could see anywhere for us to rest nearby. Ruby took a hesitant step forward so she was beside the male and she looked ahead, scanning the area as best she could, "It doesn't seem that there is though." She groaned in exasperation. "Are you alone?" Ruby asked, suddenly wary and alert as she began to look around again, she wanted to be prepared for a surprise attack, if there was one in the works.

[Lyonize]

"Erm, yeah she's my - my uh daughter."

Something about the way she said the word 'daughter' was a bit off. He didn't think much of it but wished he could have said the same thing at one time.

"I'm sorry that she's bothered you, I didn't see anyone here."

"It's alright. I could never be bothered by a cub." Zoba spoke softly. He was surprisingly calm considering what he was about to do before the cub redirected his attention. Apparently calm enough that the lioness felt comfortable enough to approach him.

"Are you alone?"

The lion turned his head away. "Yes." He knew what she meant. She asked if nobody else was around. But his answer was true in more than one way. He paused for a moment before looking back down at the cub and realized he didn't know her name. He was about to ask but then realized he hadn't told the lioness his name.

"I..." He paused, wondering if it was worthwhile to introduce himself. The chances were good that he'd be dead soon. Somehow it felt wrong to let the lioness and her cub know his name before he died. If he told her his name, he became real. In the lioness' mind and her cubs mind, he would be Zoba. The poor lion who couldn't live with himself any longer. This cub would grow up remembering the name of a dead lion. He didn't want to do that to her. But if he didn't give them his name, he'd simply be that lion they once met. Nameless. He could be easily forgotten. So the choice presented itself.

Tell them his name and live? Or stay silent and die?

Silently, he waited for himself to make the choice but he couldn't. To tell them his name would save him, but somehow, he could not find the strength to save himself. He needed to be saved. He wanted to be saved from the darkness that drove him to pick the mushrooms. All it cost would be to speak his name. Zoba. But he couldn't. Not without help.

Ask me my name... Ask me my name... he pleaded in his mind.

[Ruby_Fehu]

Ruby nodded once when he said he was alone, relaxing noticeably. "Well we better-" She was about to say leave but noticed with a mixture of amusement and dismay that Iris has slumped to the floor and curled up in a ball against Ruby's paw. "She must be exhausted." Ruby sighed, as much as she really didn't enjoy her new role, she wasn't going to force Iris to keep walking. She thought about what to do for a moment before she lay down and nudged Iris into the circle of her paws, "I'll burden you with our presence until she's fast asleep then I'll carry her and we'll be on our way." She didn't know why she was telling the male this but she just shrugged it off. "I'm Ruby, by the way. This is Iris, you are?" She asked, trying to strike up a conversation.

[Lyonize]

"I'm Ruby, by the way. This is Iris, you are?"

Zobas heart nearly skipped a beat.

"I'm Zoba." He said. In that moment, he somehow felt a great weight lifted off his shoulders. That was it. It's set in stone now. He would live. But for what now? Maybe these things were better taken one step at a time.

"You don't have to go. You both look tired and it's late." He began. "As a matter of fact, I enjoy the company." Zoba looked down at Iris and smiled.