An Idea For A Lioness Character - Not Sure If It's Good

[Deleted]

As the title says, I've had an idea for a lioness character, but (also as the title says) I am not sure if it is a good one. Okay so basically this lioness named Zhenga (it's Swahili for 'African Queen' I believe) who is the princess of her pride. Her pride is slightly different to other prides in that you do not need a mate to rule, regardless of your gender (not sure on the reason for this). Her mother died when Zhenga was very young and her father is trying to train her for when he dies and she must rule. However Zhenga is young (maybe about 15 in human years? Not sure what that would be in lion years, maybe 2?) and wants to play and have fun, not be instructed on how to lead all the time, she's not even sure if she wants to lead at all, she's not sure if she has what it takes. So maybe she runs away, because she is scared of the prospect of ruling or because she is fed up of being told what to do. Or maybe she makes a deal with a villainous lion that he takes the throne instead of her and he in prisons her father somewhere, claiming that he is dead and then throws the kingdom into turmoil with his rule, then Zhenga has to rescue her father (if it's not too late) and then over-throw the villain from his rule. Maybe the villain is some kind of witch doctor? I'm getting ideas now, I think I could write this as a story!

But are my ideas good enough? I've never done anything seriously with lions or TLK, just played silly games as a kid. I adored those games like, but.... Can I actually do a serious lion story? Or shoukd I change my ideas to be about humans maybe? I dunno.....

Help please?

[Lionel]

you could make a good story if they were humans, just my thoughts.

[Artemys]

I know I'm still quite new, but for what my opinions are worth here they are:

Firstly, I think the idea is very good and would work well with both humans and lions, though in my opinion placing the story in a setting for lions is better and I think that the storyline fits in better in this context. The overall plot is very intriguing and so far, well planned out. You would have to find a reason though for not needing a mate as that goes against quite a lot of laws of nature... (Perhaps a leader isn't born but chosen in this pride? Perhaps as a way to prove their worth? Or something along those lines...) But other than that you have a story line with great potential so far!

As for what Zhenga does, The storyline following the fact that she makes a pact with a villain is a lot more intriguing. Though I think the villain's motivations would have to run deeper than a lust for power in this case, perhaps he had grown up with Zhenga's father and had always loved her Mother. Love is always a stronger motivation than hate, and it would certainly twist him and turn him much more bitter than just a want. It would also make him much more interesting as a character, and you can look into his brief rule with another insight on why he is doing this. Else something along the lines of a feeling of being robbed, humiliation or constricted by too many rules are also good starting points for the villain.

I think you certainly have what it takes to write your own story, I have written quite a few in the past. Though it takes quite a lot to stick through with them until the end. The biggest piece of advise I would give you though if you were to continue with it is to make sure the characters are developed and realistic enough. If Zhenga is more adventurous, playful and doesn't always listen, then it is highly likely that she would be very ignorant and naive as well as quite lost without the surroundings she was brought up in. And personally, what I think makes or breaks a story is the villain. It's so much more interesting to have a villain who doesn't do everything because he was born evil, someone who was forced to turn to the 'bad' side. I don't think villains think what they are doing is wrong, and unfortunately lots of people don't show that when they introduce a villain.

Sorry if I ranted a bit, but good luck with the story